Ultimate ethnic joke

This just came in the email:
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans,
…walk into a very fine restaurant.
“I’m sorry,” says the maître d’, after scrutinizing the group…
“You can’t come in here without a Thai.”

m4s0n501

Build Me Up Buttercup, Republicans Are NUTS!

I have “Build Me Up Buttercup” stuck in my head and I think I figured it out.
President Obama is coming to Redwood City today (and I am fleeing, heading to Seattle to cover tomorrow’s Amazon shareholder meeting.) Look at the marquee at the downtown Fox Theater:

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ABBA THE CONCERT
PRESIDENT OBAMA
AIR SUPPLY
So I was thinking, is he going to perform “Waterloo”? And so I got Waterloo stuck in my head:

But then I realized, this is the same song as Build Me Up Buttercup!

And that put Build Me Up Buttercup in my head. I can’t get it out.
And THAT made me realize that something is going on — I think the right wingers are blasting the vicinity with secret frequencies, that are affecting people’s THOUGHTS!

But I have the solution:

Here Is The Problem

That was fun. The problem is that I’m having fun, but this crazy and paranoid is the starting point of the current Republican party!
Crazy: WSJ: Obama’s Place of Birth a Ballot Issue in Arizona,

The issue of President Barack Obama’s place of birth, which had largely faded from national view, is flaring up in Arizona after its secretary of state last week said Mr. Obama might not be on the November ballot there if Hawaii doesn’t verify it has his birth certificate.

Paranoid: Paul Krugman, Paranoia Strikes Deeper,

Finally, there’s the paranoia, the belief that liberals in general, and Obama administration officials in particular, are trying to make driving unaffordable as part of a nefarious plot against the American way of life. And, no, I’m not exaggerating. This is what you hear even from thoroughly mainstream conservatives.
… In fact, the conspiracy theories are proliferating so fast it’s hard to keep up. Thus, large numbers of Republicans — and we’re talking about important political figures, not random supporters — firmly believe that global warming is a gigantic hoax perpetrated by a global conspiracy involving thousands of scientists, not one of whom has broken the code of omertà. Meanwhile, others are attributing the recent improvement in economic news to a dastardly plot to withhold stimulus funds, releasing them just before the 2012 election. And let’s not even get into health reform.

Crazy: Here is a Republican Presidential Debate where the candidates say Obama is a “socialist”

Crazy: Robert Borosage: 9 Crazy Things Mitt Romney Believes
Paranoid and crazy: Study finds Republican base paranoid, delusional
Leave a comment and add your own examples of paranoid and crazy.

Brilliant! AND Funny!

This is brilliant: Satan Speaks to Santorum – and Has Some Words For Sarah Palin Too | OurFuture.org

You already talk about me like you know me. Have we met? You do look familiar, but I meet so many guys in your line of work – lobbying, that is. Oh, right, you’re a politician too. When it comes to politicians, let’s just say we’ve always got a quorum down here! Talk about your “smoke-filled rooms” …
Oh, wait. Maybe you haven’t figured out who I am. Please allow me to introduce myself – I’m a man of wealth and taste.

Work Hard, It Pays Off — But Not For You

Please read the whole thing, it just nails what today’s economy is about: All Of Area Man’s Hard Work Finally Pays Off For Employer | The Onion,

Following seven straight years of long hours at the office and sacrificed weekends and holidays, all of account manager Sam Hemstead’s hard work and single-minded devotion to Pinnacle Automotive Insurance has finally paid off for CEO Charles Pardahee, Pardahee said Friday.
… The stress-related physical and psychological tolls for Hemstead, 34, have been high, but the hypertension, weight-gain, and crippling migraine headaches he has suffered due to his rigorous work schedule have been worth the rewards he has reaped for his employer, Pardahee confirmed.